What’s green and fuzzy and can kill you if it falls from a tree? A pool table.

Knock, Knock… Who’s there? The K.G.B. The K.G.B. wh… **SLAP**! WE are K.G.B., WE will ask questions!!

What do you call someone who wears leather, likes bondage and likes getting inked? Moleskine

What did the elephant say to the horn-less rhino? “Rhino horn?”

What do you call somebody with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.

Did someone say “purple”? Sorry, it must have been a pigment of my imagination!

Wanna hear two short jokes and a long joke? Joke joke jooooke!

Why was the rooster happy after his trip to Vegas? He got clucky.

I would never exaggerate… …in a million years.

What do you call a pachyderm that sings jazz? Elephants Gerald